My Christian experience – Pt 2

One thing I have discovered in all of this is people’s view on the tithe actually reflects their views on Christianity. Those who promote the tithe doctrine usually have a works approach to Christianity. They usually take a performance based approach to Christianity and often teach things like stewardship, “touch not the Lord’s anointed”, set-man, your pastor is your covering, God has put them over you, if you disagree with them you are disagreeing with God, seed faith, sow money and reap money and so on. I also discovered that their teachings lack depth as all they do is entertain the gullible. The best part of their messages is always “if you want to release your faith and take advantage of God’s word in your life, sow a seed” and people actually believe this and oblige. Well I did too though.

My heart bleeds anytime I encounter people who are currently where I used to be. They exhibit the same ignorance I once did. They argue blindly and are more willing to defend their pastor than God’s word. I feel even worse when I listen to preachers push their personal agenda and preach man-made doctrines instead of God’s word. When will believers wake up? Why do you attribute God-like attributes to your pastor? God alone is infallible and the best of men are still men at their best; no man is infallible.

I still struggle with the relics of my past teachings quite like an ex-junkie would at the sight and thought of drugs and it is really standing in my way of true worship to God. I know that there is no mediator between God and me besides Jesus and I know His sacrifice has paved the way for me to gain access to God’s throne; I still sometimes seek the intervention of a pastor. I know I can pray to God on my own and He’ll hear me, I still find myself seeking prayers from pastors sometimes.

I only share my experience because I wouldn’t want others to go through what I’ve been through and trust me it can be difficult. There are scores of Christians who’ve gone through similar experiences and have ended up agnostics; I struggled with that at a time.

The truth is quite scarce these days and one has to search real hard to find the undiluted word of God. I know it is out there because God will never leave Himself without a witness.

My Christian experience – Pt 1

The current state of today’s church leaves me truly saddened. And I almost regretted ever becoming part of it.

Looking back, I can actually attribute this to the constant diet of falsehood I was fed when I first became a Christian. And as the old saying goes “you are what you eat”, that does ring so true in my case; the falsehood I was taught has really taken root in me has helped shaped my mindset. This makes me so sad.

I become a Christian as a teenager at a time when my peers where into girls, parties and alcohol. And loved God and the things of God and believed everything I was taught from the pulpit. I got the impression that striving for accomplishments was a carnal pursuit and showed that one trusted in one’s own abilities and not in God. Maybe I misunderstood what I was taught but that has in no way lessened the damage it has done to me; I was so laidback and completely lacked any ambition because I believed I was trusting God and exhibiting faith. I ended up losing precious years I will never, ever get back!

Every parent knows that in order to for children to develop properly they need to have a proper foundation and this was what I lacked as a young Christian; the proper spiritual foundation. This unfortunately governed the way I read the bible and interacted with the rest of the world.

When I started writing this blog, I never envisaged I would write so much on tithing. This blog was simply an outlet to vent the growing resentment I was beginning to harbour towards today’s church. But the fact of the matter is this doctrine forms the bedrock of the belief system of many in Christianity. A vast majority of preachers usually tie everything in Christianity to tithing. They tell you of God’s promises then encourage you to tithe in order to receive it. They tell you of God’s provisions then encourage you tithe to in order to receive them. They tell you of heaven and encourage you to tithe in order to get there. For them, the tithe brings everything God together.

I was told from my early days in Christianity that tithing faithfully, giving sacrificially and sowing seeds were guaranteed to bring you financial prosperity. I listened regularly to messages from Kenneth Hagin, K. C. Price and their ilk and lapped up all their testimonies on how these things had worked for them. It never worked for me!

But here is what happened to me instead, I completely ignored common sense and kept on practising these so called teachings because I was told one had to persevere and to give up at the last minute showed fear instead of faith. I wasted my years on stupid doctrines and practises instead of spending time building myself. I should have invested more in my studies, I should have learnt how to invest money and time in “real” investments that would have yielded “real” money. In fact, these teachings made me lazy and I was taken advantage of by many preachers.

They harped on so much on being led by the spirit without even taking the time to teach us what it meant (the probably didn’t know themselves) and left us to interpret its meaning for ourselves. I would be faced with situations where common sense would have been adequate to tackle it; I would instead want to appear spiritual and decide to take a “spiritual” approach by waiting on the “Lord”. This sometimes led me into very difficult situations where I was saved by the grace of God alone.

My world fell apart when I learnt what went on behind closed doors. I couldn’t believe that preachers I held in high esteem where actually weaving deceitful tales in order to take advantage of simple folks like me. It was even worse when I chanced upon teachings by a brother who show me from scripture how most of what I had been taught was so at variance with what was in the bible.

I felt hurt, I felt betrayed, I was confused because this truth had completely shattered my world. Even though the signs were always there that most of what I was taught was false, I was kept in check by the spiritual gagging order “touch not the Lord’s anointed” even though he is wrong. I never received any blessings or financial windfall from tithing and sowing seeds. It was all a waste of money. Had I been more informed, I should have invested the money in something more realistic like real estate, gold, stocks, gas and oil etc. I agree that we are not of this world but while we are still in it we need to be fed, clothed, housed etc. money is required to make it all happen.

For the first time, I learnt to question everything I heard and to go back to check scriptures to see if it was so stated. And I promised myself never to be anyone’s b**ch (please excuse my French) ever again.